Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We need to get me chipped asap
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
