I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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