I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
