theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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