in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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