butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
