I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
