the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
