you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
