I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
