i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
