i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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