You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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