I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I believe in your delicious
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
