don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
