He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
