I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize