I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
