I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
