Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
