did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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