people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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