Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
