Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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