He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
