Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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