I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
