Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
