saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just had sex on a roof
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
