I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
