i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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