It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
