....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
