Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
