an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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