My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
