We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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