In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
