I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
