Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
