I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
