So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
