guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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