I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
