But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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