What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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