Tell her she can't have a vagina
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I want is dick and wine.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
