Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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