no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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