There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
